FitBit 30 -- Day 2

In a lot of ways, waiting 9 years after undergrad for medical school feels like I wasted an entire decade of my life.  There are a lot of things I won't get to do/enjoy during my 30s -- the prime of my life -- because I am doing med school and residency.

But thank God I didn't do it all back when I graduated from undergrad at 20.  I could have been a doctor at 24 -- a mere child.  I was way too young, both numerically and emotionally, to be a good physician, but I'd have been great at what medical schools like:  memorizing shit and doing nothing else but medicine.  And maybe I'd have ended up a surgeon.

I started a vascular surgery rotation today and had 7k steps by 8am.  It's going to be a pretty cake rotation, but I can see a) what's attractive and fun about surgery b) what great physicians the surgeons are c) how they change going from PGY1 to PGY 5, and not in a good way, and d) how much you really have to devote your life to it.

There's no way I'd want to now.  I am enjoying a much healthier work-life balance now than would ever allow me to be a surgeon.  Plus, I still want to have kids.

But yeah, got close to having my steps in yesterday.  Didn't hit it, because I came home and crashed for a few hours.

Calories out:  2432

Calories in:  1350

Deficit/Surplus:  -1082

Mondays are date night for us, whenever possible.  It's hard to have date on Monday nights because we're often so exhausted from getting back to the work week, but they're important to make a priority.  We knew we'd be exhausted tonight and had decided on going out to a movie.  We hadn't seen one in the theatre in ages so headed out to finally see Star Wars: Rogue One, which ended up being an amazing show.  Unfortunately for us the theatre had the volume up so loudly that it almost physically hurt to listen to it.

Anyhow, there's a point to my story:  I love popcorn.  I have an affair with it that is unhealthy probably both emotionally and physically.  I even have little enamel popcorn earrings.  My other love in life is Slurpeees/Icees/Slushies.

Which makes movie theaters dangerous places to be.

I managed to make it through the whole movie with nothing except a couple mints and a lindor truffle I snuck in via my coat pocket (it was disappointing -- I should have checked the  flavor first), which I of course tracked, and no popcorn.  NO popcorn.  Or a slushee.

I'll take the little wins with the big ones.

Adding Daily Healthy Activities: For Tomorrow

As I've said previously, I have a million ideas of what makes one "healthy" and since it's impossible to add them all at once and probable that adding one at a time will take to long to be effective, I've decided that my daily goal will be to do two "healthy things" a day minimum, in addition to my FitBit goal.

These might include meditation, stretching, running, Bible study, journaling, etc.

For example, tomorrow I'm going to try to meditate 2-3 times and do a Bible study. :)

Note:  I'm going to be backdating these entries so they show up for 11:59 of the night they apply to.

The FitBit 30 -- Day 0, and What does being healthy look like to me?

So, I've been off the radar . . . residency interviews and applications, travel for the holidays, you name it.

I was having a conversation with my husband a few weeks ago and mentioned that it was funny that I *felt* fat that day, since I'd been about the same weight since I'd met him 17 months prior to that.

Then it hit me.

Despite a year of actively trying to lose weight, I've pretty much been +/- five pounds of the same point since we met.  Now, maybe my muscle mass has fluctuated, etc., but it's ridiculous that I claim to have been actively working on something for 17 months and have nothing to show in terms of change.

Which means, either:
A) I was doing everything right and my body is beyond broken.
or
B) I wasn't working as hard or consistently as I thought I was.

While there's a smidgen of A that is probably true, let's go with B, shall we?

Well, consistency is the key to success.  You don't have to be perfect every day, but you have to be good more often than not.

Anyhow, I'd like to be more intentional about a lot of my day-to-day life, and one of those things is working on being healthier.  I'm 33, y'all, and am about to dive head first into residency (which will likely be hell) and haven't even added kids to the equation yet.

What does being healthy look like to me?

Emotionally/Spiritually

• Daily time spent in
• Prayer
• Bible Study
• Meditation (seriously guys, this can lower your blood pressure by a lot)
• Journaling/reflection
• Frequent quality time with my husband
• Date nights
• Weekly budget/to-do check-ins

Physically

• High aerobic capacity
• Better core strength -- I'd like to make it through the year without an L5 exacerbation, but hey, we might have to get rid of our futon for that to happen.
• Increased flexibility
• Eating more whole foods
• Decreasing intake of refined sugar
• Not reliant on caffeine
• Ability to listen to my body's cues on food, not cravings

Career

• Staying up to date on advances
• Reading at least one peer-reviewed article a week
• Listening/viewing at least one FOAM resource a week
• Networking
• Going to conferences whenever possible
• Reviewing
• Picking at least one concept/disease to review per week
• Find a mentor to help guide me through the craziness of residency

So for January, 2017:

I'm going to be working on a lot of these things on the side.  I can't totally change my life all at once, and some of them I've been doing in fits and starts.  But I'm going to write out what "healthy" looks like for me, and keep it visible on my bullet journal, so I can keep it in mind.

But for January, let's build some new habits:  hence, the FitBit 30.

I like the FitBit.  It calculates my daily energy expenditure (DEE) and can prorate the calories I have left for the day based on that.  I'm going to attempt to maintain a daily 1000 calorie deficit (according the the FitBit) for the 30 days, which should result in an 8ish pound weight loss compared to tomorrow.  It'll also build good habits.

Rules:  

I can not go OVER the calories prescribed by the FitBit -- must be "in the zone."  If I go over, I'll have to "earn" those calories back.

Can I go under?  Yes, but here's why:  sometimes, I go to bed still in the target zone, but earn enough calories while sleeping to push me under it.  So I can't be too strict about that.

Bonus wins:  Meeting the FitBit goals for water, sleep, activity, and steps.  But hey, let's keep it simple and focus on the calories for now.

Consistency is the name of the game.

Happy 2017 everyone!

5k a day -- Day 9

The past couple days the stress has been getting to me.  Boards are on Thursday.  Also planning a wedding.  Also rotations.  Also PMS.  My diet has been craving-filled, as it becomes when I'm stressful, so it's nice to have the knowledge that I'm meeting my 5k a day challenge to give me a little boost in sense of self.

Tonight, I waited until long after the sun went down before heading out for my 5k.  It's been super hot and humid, to the point that I've started scheduling my day around when the hourly forecast predicts driest, coolest, least humid temperatures.  I managed to catch a nice breeze tonight and it wasn't bad!

I decided to do 5:2 intervals.  I wish I could tell you there's some sort of rhyme or reason to how I decided to run/walk the 5k each day, but it's really just a gut decision that I don't think lots about.  I decided I should have some good jogging time today, but I knew I wouldn't be able to work on my speed too much -- it's too dark with not enough street lights to really run quickly.  I'd be flat on my face within the first half mile.  Anyhow, I looked down on the first 5 minute section and was doing a 9 minute pace!  I certainly didn't keep that up, but it's nice to know the walking has been keeping me loose.

Unfortunately, I didn't successfully manage to turn off my MapMyRun tracker, so my distance/time includes stopping to a slow walk and doing some stretching when I saw I had done the 5k distance.

The 5k

3.13 miles in 42:37

13:35 min/mile average pace

Splits:  13:13/13:42/13:40/14:55 (<-- See?)

I mean, just look at that max pace.  That I hit for about 5 seconds.

The Workout

56 squats

65 seconds plank

18 modified push ups

My upper body strength is really lacking.  I'm glad I'm making myself do the push ups, but boy, I'm not good at them.

Till tomorrow, good reader(s).

Punishment vs. Discipline

How many times do we do something and think we should punish ourselves for it?

"I can't believe I had all that pizza.  I'm not gonna let myself have junk food for a week."

"Ugh, I was lazy and slept in SO late.  Extra mile on my run tonight."

We do it all the time to ourselves, and of course we do -- it's how we were raised, or how society has trained us.  Gee, you're a bad fatty for eating that quarter pounder with cheese (Or a "royale with cheese" if you're a Pulp Fiction fan), so you'd better punish yourself for it by jogging off those calories.  

And yet, most parenting resources talk about "punishment" as a form of discipline -- letting there be natural bad consequences to actions, and reinforcing good behavior while discouraging bad behavior.

This Focus on the Family article has a great table on the difference between discipline and punishment.  

And at the end of the day, it is about motivation and implementation.  (There are countless resources that all espouse the same ideas -- just google "don't discipline while angry" and "punishment vs. discipline".  Far better writers share these ideas much more eloquently than I can.)

Punishment for the sake of punishment results in guilt, feelings of self-loathing, embarrassment, etc.  It's a subconscious "I don't deserve good things" voice in our head.  Discipline, on the other hand, is about the future -- making it the best it can be, learning new and great habits because you deserve the benefits that come with it.

And there should be consequences for our actions.  And there should be things we aspire to do.  But appropriateness is important.  An over-simplified example that doesn't quite fit in the real world but gets the point across:

Joe is a little boy suffering from a vitamin deficiency that can best be remedied by eating spinach.  Poor little Joe absolutely hates spinach, and he refuses to eat it.  In fact, he throws a temper tantrum when he has to.  Mom could a) require that he eat the suggested about of spinach, and if he continues to misbehave, deal with that separately, or b) require that Joe eat 4 times the amount of required spinach despite his misery, out of punishment for getting into the situation to begin with, and out of spite for frustration. 

Okay, so that's obviously ridiculous.  But how many times does a binge eater fail to follow a food plan 100% and then punish himself by eating everything in sight?  Punishment instead of grace.

How often have you heard that girl who needs to run 6 miles tonight because she was "so bad" and ate horribly this morning?  Exercise becoming a punishment instead of a disciplined habit.

Have you heard a story about a patient being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and spiraling into a life of denial and embarrassment?  Responses disproportionate and unhelpful to the problem.

Punishment vs. Discipline vs. Abuse

Let's take it a step further.  This Huff Post article talks about how when parents discipline while angry, the punishment can cross the border into abuse, both legally and morally.  And how often do we do that to ourselves?  How often do we get angry at ourselves about our behaviors, and fall into a cycle of self-abuse: negative self-talk, miserable workouts, horrible moods because we hate ourselves?  

Cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Letting it Affect our Goals

I think this is where the tire hits the road for me.  Why am I picking the challenges I'm doing or the ones I'm planning on in the future?  Is it to punish myself and "fix" something "wrong" with me?  Or is it to replace habits with better ones?

Am I deciding on these things out of a punishment for who or what I am, or to discipline myself into a better future?

---

If we wouldn't talk to someone we love like that . . . if we wouldn't treat our best friends like that . . . if we wouldn't discipline our children like that . . .

. . . then maybe we should be constantly evaluating our motivation for how we treat ourselves.

This has been more of a stream of consciousness than any sort of organized blog post, so I may edit and clarify as I reread this in the future.  Hopefully my point came across despite the more rambling nature today.

5k a day -- Day 2

I won't lie -- it's hard to get out of bed on a Saturday morning.  But the gray, cool weather was perfect for a run, so get up I did.

In an effort to improve my speed, I decided today's 5k would involve HIIT-type running.  I'd run at a faster pace for 3 minutes, then walk for a minute, then repeat.  Yesterday's average was over 12:00/mile, so I was amazing for 11:00/mile during that 3 minute period.  To be honest, MapMyRun wasn't really accurate enough to keep track of pace (it kept bouncing all over the place) so I just aimed for a higher level of exertion:  somewhere in the "this is hard" range.

I made it 2 miles using the 3:1 HIIT plan, although I did add an extra walk minute in between interval sets 5 and 6.  After that, I walked an 1/8 of a mile, jogged for 5 minutes, and alternated walk/jog for the rest of the distance

And guys, it was hard.  I was pushing myself during those 3 minute periods.  I'm hoping to add another interval every time I do that.

Bonus:  saw about 7 rabbits during my run.

So here are the numbers for today:

5k in 40:38

 13:05 min/mi average pace

Splits: 12:53/12:35/14:04/10:23

And the workout:

42 squats

30 seconds plank

11 modified push ups

A little about my post-Whole30 diet:

You can follow me on MyFitnessPal at DocWhitney and see what I've been eating.  The day after my Whole30 ended, my fiancé and I went to one of our favorite restaurants and pigged out a bit.  But I didn't actually crave that junk food.  I thought I did, but my body really wanted clean protein and fruits and veggies.

Today I'm studying for boards at Panera, and one of my favorite things used to be to keep a Diet Caffeine Free Coke from their fountain around to sip from while I studied.  Today, I threw it out -- it tasted way too much like chemicals for me!  I'm gonna stick with my caffeine free life for now, and I've got a water with lemon in front of me and a decaf earl grey tea (yes, with cream and sweetener) instead.   Edit:  the earl grey tea didn't sit well with me.  Maybe the cream?  Ugh, I hope I don't have a milk allergy or lactose intolerance.

I'm thrilled with how my brain might still crave comfort food/junk (tells me how much was psychological) but my body wants healthier food.