FitBit 30 -- Day 3

It'd be so easy to lie about this challenge.  To simply not document tastes or snacks or to lie about portion sizes.

That makes this 30 day challenge as good an exercise in self-honesty as in self-discipline.

Here are today's results, after a day of work, errands, chores, and making cookies and puppy chow:

Calories out: 2647 

Calories in: 1508

Surplus/Deficit: -1139

In regards to what I talked about yesterday, adding 2 healthy behaviors a day:  success!  I meditated twice today, which I can't recommend highly enough.  I use an app called Calm, or its corresponding website, calm.com.  They have both free and pay services, as well as both independent and guided meditations.  I also invested some good time in prayer and Bible study, which was a wonderful bit of my evening.

Isn't it nice how positive behaviors result in positive feedback loops?

FitBit 30 -- Day 1

Obviously today is day 2, but hey, I can't post about a day's caloric expenditures until after midnight, so . . .

For the first day of 2017, I . . .

• slept in.
• missed church.
• made the hubby breakfast in bed.
• lazed about.
• went on a long walk in a really cool park.
• bought groceries.
• made dinner.
• lost 2 games of Rummikube and a Nerf gun war.
• went to bed super early because I had to be at work by 6am.

Calories out:  2414

Calories in: 1254

Deficit/surplus:  -1160

So I ended up under my calorie goal, but not by much!

I also managed to hit my steps and water goals.  w00t.

Part of me feels like these more passive challenges are a cop-out, like I should be kneeling at the altar of health by adding new habits and sacrificing time and blood and money.  But realistically, doesn't it make more sense to just make sure the things I have to do anyhow (like eat, sleep, breathe) aren't working against me in the long run?

So the park I found was a fluke that showed up on my Google Maps during a run on a different trail.  It took me a few times of trial and error to find it, but a few months ago, I did!  It's this crazy wooded area, absolutely chock full of fallen trees.  The weird thing is, it's one of the most grown-over areas I've ever hiked, but it's also developed in some spots, like trees being shaped or grinded down for mountain biking (?) and the such.

Paul on a downed tree that's been turned into a ramp!

And just when the place couldn't seem more grown-over, you get to a beautiful dammed up stream that creates a lovely waterfall, with a building from a local university in the background.

Not a bad way to start the new year.

5k a day -- Day 9

The past couple days the stress has been getting to me.  Boards are on Thursday.  Also planning a wedding.  Also rotations.  Also PMS.  My diet has been craving-filled, as it becomes when I'm stressful, so it's nice to have the knowledge that I'm meeting my 5k a day challenge to give me a little boost in sense of self.

Tonight, I waited until long after the sun went down before heading out for my 5k.  It's been super hot and humid, to the point that I've started scheduling my day around when the hourly forecast predicts driest, coolest, least humid temperatures.  I managed to catch a nice breeze tonight and it wasn't bad!

I decided to do 5:2 intervals.  I wish I could tell you there's some sort of rhyme or reason to how I decided to run/walk the 5k each day, but it's really just a gut decision that I don't think lots about.  I decided I should have some good jogging time today, but I knew I wouldn't be able to work on my speed too much -- it's too dark with not enough street lights to really run quickly.  I'd be flat on my face within the first half mile.  Anyhow, I looked down on the first 5 minute section and was doing a 9 minute pace!  I certainly didn't keep that up, but it's nice to know the walking has been keeping me loose.

Unfortunately, I didn't successfully manage to turn off my MapMyRun tracker, so my distance/time includes stopping to a slow walk and doing some stretching when I saw I had done the 5k distance.

The 5k

3.13 miles in 42:37

13:35 min/mile average pace

Splits:  13:13/13:42/13:40/14:55 (<-- See?)

I mean, just look at that max pace.  That I hit for about 5 seconds.

The Workout

56 squats

65 seconds plank

18 modified push ups

My upper body strength is really lacking.  I'm glad I'm making myself do the push ups, but boy, I'm not good at them.

Till tomorrow, good reader(s).

Punishment vs. Discipline

How many times do we do something and think we should punish ourselves for it?

"I can't believe I had all that pizza.  I'm not gonna let myself have junk food for a week."

"Ugh, I was lazy and slept in SO late.  Extra mile on my run tonight."

We do it all the time to ourselves, and of course we do -- it's how we were raised, or how society has trained us.  Gee, you're a bad fatty for eating that quarter pounder with cheese (Or a "royale with cheese" if you're a Pulp Fiction fan), so you'd better punish yourself for it by jogging off those calories.  

And yet, most parenting resources talk about "punishment" as a form of discipline -- letting there be natural bad consequences to actions, and reinforcing good behavior while discouraging bad behavior.

This Focus on the Family article has a great table on the difference between discipline and punishment.  

And at the end of the day, it is about motivation and implementation.  (There are countless resources that all espouse the same ideas -- just google "don't discipline while angry" and "punishment vs. discipline".  Far better writers share these ideas much more eloquently than I can.)

Punishment for the sake of punishment results in guilt, feelings of self-loathing, embarrassment, etc.  It's a subconscious "I don't deserve good things" voice in our head.  Discipline, on the other hand, is about the future -- making it the best it can be, learning new and great habits because you deserve the benefits that come with it.

And there should be consequences for our actions.  And there should be things we aspire to do.  But appropriateness is important.  An over-simplified example that doesn't quite fit in the real world but gets the point across:

Joe is a little boy suffering from a vitamin deficiency that can best be remedied by eating spinach.  Poor little Joe absolutely hates spinach, and he refuses to eat it.  In fact, he throws a temper tantrum when he has to.  Mom could a) require that he eat the suggested about of spinach, and if he continues to misbehave, deal with that separately, or b) require that Joe eat 4 times the amount of required spinach despite his misery, out of punishment for getting into the situation to begin with, and out of spite for frustration. 

Okay, so that's obviously ridiculous.  But how many times does a binge eater fail to follow a food plan 100% and then punish himself by eating everything in sight?  Punishment instead of grace.

How often have you heard that girl who needs to run 6 miles tonight because she was "so bad" and ate horribly this morning?  Exercise becoming a punishment instead of a disciplined habit.

Have you heard a story about a patient being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and spiraling into a life of denial and embarrassment?  Responses disproportionate and unhelpful to the problem.

Punishment vs. Discipline vs. Abuse

Let's take it a step further.  This Huff Post article talks about how when parents discipline while angry, the punishment can cross the border into abuse, both legally and morally.  And how often do we do that to ourselves?  How often do we get angry at ourselves about our behaviors, and fall into a cycle of self-abuse: negative self-talk, miserable workouts, horrible moods because we hate ourselves?  

Cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Letting it Affect our Goals

I think this is where the tire hits the road for me.  Why am I picking the challenges I'm doing or the ones I'm planning on in the future?  Is it to punish myself and "fix" something "wrong" with me?  Or is it to replace habits with better ones?

Am I deciding on these things out of a punishment for who or what I am, or to discipline myself into a better future?

---

If we wouldn't talk to someone we love like that . . . if we wouldn't treat our best friends like that . . . if we wouldn't discipline our children like that . . .

. . . then maybe we should be constantly evaluating our motivation for how we treat ourselves.

This has been more of a stream of consciousness than any sort of organized blog post, so I may edit and clarify as I reread this in the future.  Hopefully my point came across despite the more rambling nature today.

5k a day -- Day 7

Tonight was a pseudo date night for Paul and me.  I've been studying for boards and work has been super crazy for him, so we decided my 5k would be a good excuse to go for a walk together tonight and catch up.  I'm so glad we did it -- I've been incredibly stressed (the life of a senior medical student applying for residencies could fill a whole other blog) and the walk really helped me recenter and unwind.

The 5k:

5k in 1:11:55

23:01 min/mile average pace

Splits:  22:45/22:45/22:38/29:08

The Workout:

52 squats

55 seconds plank

16 modified push ups

Note to self: don't wait until after dinner to do that many squats.  Oy vey.  

Dinner, just to brag, was delicious:  steaks with bleu cheese crumbles, broccoli, garlic bread . . . mmm

By the way, Paul says he can already see the difference the squats are making in my butt.  I have no idea if he's just saying that to be nice or what, but any excuse for my fiancé to look at my butt is fine with me. :)

5k a day -- Day 5

Almost did a plain jog 5k today but realized I needed to have full reserves for the one in the morning. Decided on a 1 mile jog then 3:1 intervals.

Turns out, it was 90 degrees and sunny at my third favorite running park, so I was grateful for the choice about 2 miles in. 

The run:

5k in 41:22

13:21 min/mi average pace

Splits: 12:17/13:21/14:36/11:31

I also meandered through some of the mountain biking trails during that third mile. Some are actually banked, which was a new jogging experience for me. 

Also, this view isn't done justice by the picture:

Anyhow. 

The workout:

48 squats
45 seconds plank

14 modified push ups 

My legs are finally starting to get used to this. See ya tomorrow!

5k a day -- Day 3

I know better than to eat before a run.  I really do.  Wait, let's do numbers first, and then I'll explain why they look a little funky.

The Run

5k in 53:20

17:12 min/mi average pace

Splits:  11:45/20:50/18:35/21:38

And the workout:

44 squats

35 seconds plank

12 modified push ups

Back to the story:

I generally don't eat anything before a run -- my body just doesn't like it.  But I slept in today, so I didn't run immediately upon waking.  Plus, the weather was perfect so there was a great reason to head to my favorite park for the run.  So given the later run, and the 35ish minute drive to get to that park, I figured I could/should eat something small and that by the time I got dressed and got started, the food would be pretty settled.

I was wrong.

The plan was to just jog a slow, easy 5k, so I was pleased when I looked down to see my first mile was 11:45 -- faster than my usual time.  But then.  *gurgle*  Huh?   *grumble*  Damn. 

I slowed down to a walk, hoping less jostling = less upset.  No dice.  The path at this beautiful park is a 5k loop, and by now, I was at the far end of it.  So that 20:50 second mile was mostly me looking around for a bathroom.

Also no dice.

I spent the rest of the 5k walking back to the entrance (where there are bathrooms) alternating "I should get there quickly as possible and speedwalk/run" with "no, no bouncy, no bouncy, nice and smooth."

I know, TMI.  

Here, as an apology for the TMI, and so you can see why I love running here so much, have a picture of the trail. 

At the end of the day, I did my 5k, and it ended up turning into an active rest.

5k a day -- Day 2

I won't lie -- it's hard to get out of bed on a Saturday morning.  But the gray, cool weather was perfect for a run, so get up I did.

In an effort to improve my speed, I decided today's 5k would involve HIIT-type running.  I'd run at a faster pace for 3 minutes, then walk for a minute, then repeat.  Yesterday's average was over 12:00/mile, so I was amazing for 11:00/mile during that 3 minute period.  To be honest, MapMyRun wasn't really accurate enough to keep track of pace (it kept bouncing all over the place) so I just aimed for a higher level of exertion:  somewhere in the "this is hard" range.

I made it 2 miles using the 3:1 HIIT plan, although I did add an extra walk minute in between interval sets 5 and 6.  After that, I walked an 1/8 of a mile, jogged for 5 minutes, and alternated walk/jog for the rest of the distance

And guys, it was hard.  I was pushing myself during those 3 minute periods.  I'm hoping to add another interval every time I do that.

Bonus:  saw about 7 rabbits during my run.

So here are the numbers for today:

5k in 40:38

 13:05 min/mi average pace

Splits: 12:53/12:35/14:04/10:23

And the workout:

42 squats

30 seconds plank

11 modified push ups

A little about my post-Whole30 diet:

You can follow me on MyFitnessPal at DocWhitney and see what I've been eating.  The day after my Whole30 ended, my fiancé and I went to one of our favorite restaurants and pigged out a bit.  But I didn't actually crave that junk food.  I thought I did, but my body really wanted clean protein and fruits and veggies.

Today I'm studying for boards at Panera, and one of my favorite things used to be to keep a Diet Caffeine Free Coke from their fountain around to sip from while I studied.  Today, I threw it out -- it tasted way too much like chemicals for me!  I'm gonna stick with my caffeine free life for now, and I've got a water with lemon in front of me and a decaf earl grey tea (yes, with cream and sweetener) instead.   Edit:  the earl grey tea didn't sit well with me.  Maybe the cream?  Ugh, I hope I don't have a milk allergy or lactose intolerance.

I'm thrilled with how my brain might still crave comfort food/junk (tells me how much was psychological) but my body wants healthier food.