The FitBit 30 -- Day 0, and What does being healthy look like to me?

So, I've been off the radar . . . residency interviews and applications, travel for the holidays, you name it.

I was having a conversation with my husband a few weeks ago and mentioned that it was funny that I *felt* fat that day, since I'd been about the same weight since I'd met him 17 months prior to that.

Then it hit me.

Despite a year of actively trying to lose weight, I've pretty much been +/- five pounds of the same point since we met.  Now, maybe my muscle mass has fluctuated, etc., but it's ridiculous that I claim to have been actively working on something for 17 months and have nothing to show in terms of change.

Which means, either:
A) I was doing everything right and my body is beyond broken.
or
B) I wasn't working as hard or consistently as I thought I was.

While there's a smidgen of A that is probably true, let's go with B, shall we?

Well, consistency is the key to success.  You don't have to be perfect every day, but you have to be good more often than not.

Anyhow, I'd like to be more intentional about a lot of my day-to-day life, and one of those things is working on being healthier.  I'm 33, y'all, and am about to dive head first into residency (which will likely be hell) and haven't even added kids to the equation yet.

What does being healthy look like to me?

Emotionally/Spiritually

• Daily time spent in
• Prayer
• Bible Study
• Meditation (seriously guys, this can lower your blood pressure by a lot)
• Journaling/reflection
• Frequent quality time with my husband
• Date nights
• Weekly budget/to-do check-ins

Physically

• High aerobic capacity
• Better core strength -- I'd like to make it through the year without an L5 exacerbation, but hey, we might have to get rid of our futon for that to happen.
• Increased flexibility
• Eating more whole foods
• Decreasing intake of refined sugar
• Not reliant on caffeine
• Ability to listen to my body's cues on food, not cravings

Career

• Staying up to date on advances
• Reading at least one peer-reviewed article a week
• Listening/viewing at least one FOAM resource a week
• Networking
• Going to conferences whenever possible
• Reviewing
• Picking at least one concept/disease to review per week
• Find a mentor to help guide me through the craziness of residency

So for January, 2017:

I'm going to be working on a lot of these things on the side.  I can't totally change my life all at once, and some of them I've been doing in fits and starts.  But I'm going to write out what "healthy" looks like for me, and keep it visible on my bullet journal, so I can keep it in mind.

But for January, let's build some new habits:  hence, the FitBit 30.

I like the FitBit.  It calculates my daily energy expenditure (DEE) and can prorate the calories I have left for the day based on that.  I'm going to attempt to maintain a daily 1000 calorie deficit (according the the FitBit) for the 30 days, which should result in an 8ish pound weight loss compared to tomorrow.  It'll also build good habits.

Rules:  

I can not go OVER the calories prescribed by the FitBit -- must be "in the zone."  If I go over, I'll have to "earn" those calories back.

Can I go under?  Yes, but here's why:  sometimes, I go to bed still in the target zone, but earn enough calories while sleeping to push me under it.  So I can't be too strict about that.

Bonus wins:  Meeting the FitBit goals for water, sleep, activity, and steps.  But hey, let's keep it simple and focus on the calories for now.

Consistency is the name of the game.

Happy 2017 everyone!

Punishment vs. Discipline

How many times do we do something and think we should punish ourselves for it?

"I can't believe I had all that pizza.  I'm not gonna let myself have junk food for a week."

"Ugh, I was lazy and slept in SO late.  Extra mile on my run tonight."

We do it all the time to ourselves, and of course we do -- it's how we were raised, or how society has trained us.  Gee, you're a bad fatty for eating that quarter pounder with cheese (Or a "royale with cheese" if you're a Pulp Fiction fan), so you'd better punish yourself for it by jogging off those calories.  

And yet, most parenting resources talk about "punishment" as a form of discipline -- letting there be natural bad consequences to actions, and reinforcing good behavior while discouraging bad behavior.

This Focus on the Family article has a great table on the difference between discipline and punishment.  

And at the end of the day, it is about motivation and implementation.  (There are countless resources that all espouse the same ideas -- just google "don't discipline while angry" and "punishment vs. discipline".  Far better writers share these ideas much more eloquently than I can.)

Punishment for the sake of punishment results in guilt, feelings of self-loathing, embarrassment, etc.  It's a subconscious "I don't deserve good things" voice in our head.  Discipline, on the other hand, is about the future -- making it the best it can be, learning new and great habits because you deserve the benefits that come with it.

And there should be consequences for our actions.  And there should be things we aspire to do.  But appropriateness is important.  An over-simplified example that doesn't quite fit in the real world but gets the point across:

Joe is a little boy suffering from a vitamin deficiency that can best be remedied by eating spinach.  Poor little Joe absolutely hates spinach, and he refuses to eat it.  In fact, he throws a temper tantrum when he has to.  Mom could a) require that he eat the suggested about of spinach, and if he continues to misbehave, deal with that separately, or b) require that Joe eat 4 times the amount of required spinach despite his misery, out of punishment for getting into the situation to begin with, and out of spite for frustration. 

Okay, so that's obviously ridiculous.  But how many times does a binge eater fail to follow a food plan 100% and then punish himself by eating everything in sight?  Punishment instead of grace.

How often have you heard that girl who needs to run 6 miles tonight because she was "so bad" and ate horribly this morning?  Exercise becoming a punishment instead of a disciplined habit.

Have you heard a story about a patient being diagnosed with Type II Diabetes and spiraling into a life of denial and embarrassment?  Responses disproportionate and unhelpful to the problem.

Punishment vs. Discipline vs. Abuse

Let's take it a step further.  This Huff Post article talks about how when parents discipline while angry, the punishment can cross the border into abuse, both legally and morally.  And how often do we do that to ourselves?  How often do we get angry at ourselves about our behaviors, and fall into a cycle of self-abuse: negative self-talk, miserable workouts, horrible moods because we hate ourselves?  

Cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Letting it Affect our Goals

I think this is where the tire hits the road for me.  Why am I picking the challenges I'm doing or the ones I'm planning on in the future?  Is it to punish myself and "fix" something "wrong" with me?  Or is it to replace habits with better ones?

Am I deciding on these things out of a punishment for who or what I am, or to discipline myself into a better future?

---

If we wouldn't talk to someone we love like that . . . if we wouldn't treat our best friends like that . . . if we wouldn't discipline our children like that . . .

. . . then maybe we should be constantly evaluating our motivation for how we treat ourselves.

This has been more of a stream of consciousness than any sort of organized blog post, so I may edit and clarify as I reread this in the future.  Hopefully my point came across despite the more rambling nature today.